13,000+

Yesterday was Holland's two month check up and therefore her first round of vaccines.  These shots are the worst. Babies are just too small and helpless to understand any amount of pain and she does not do pain. She once slipped my grip a little while I brought her up for a burp session and her head bumped into my shoulder. Oh my, she screamed. So you can imagine what 3 needles in her getting chubbier little legs would do.

These shots also make babies so sleepy. The doctor of course got on me about the tummy time - 1 hour a day! - but that was impossible yesterday. Sleep - wake up and cry - try to eat - cry - fall back to sleep. She napped pretty well that morning but the afternoon she would not be consoled any way than strapped next to my chest and walking around - preferably outside. So that's what we did. We walked and walked all afternoon outside. I grabbed a book to pass the time as my fitbit stacked up the steps. Over 13,000. Sheesh. I kicked off my shoes to feel the grass. #nofilter - it is that green right now. I texted a friend I hadn't spoken to in months when the book started talking about community. I miss her. It's funny how relationships grow apart. Someone that you think of often and love dearly but you lose touch. I couldn't quite remember where she works and felt embarrassed when I asked to be reminded. But isn't it better to know than pretend to know? Isn't that what community is? Caring and not pretending to ignore our shortcomings? I don't remember things well all the time, but I can be authentic in wanting to know and wanting to remember. 

These baby days are going quickly. Soon I'll be back at work full time and struggling to get everyone fed every evening and surviving the infamous "witching hour" and bedtime routines and then trying not to crash at 8pm because lunches need to be packed and what the heck are we going to eat for dinner tomorrow and what are we going to wear tomorrow because I can't keep up with laundry and dishes and any other tedious chore. So I'll take the 13,000+ steps every day. I'll take the peace that Holland feels when she's next to my heart. I'll take the fresh grass between my toes and the solitude of reading. I'll take it.

Wrap by Solly Baby, Holland's bonnet from Briar Handmade, Book: The Gospel