Space

The past few weeks have been crazy for the Merricks.  We've bought a house, moved, unpacked (well, sort of), renovated, tore it out, re-renovated, battled illness, eaten out waaaaay too much.

We've felt crazy, we've felt out of control, we've felt a little lost.  Jobs have changed, hearts have changed, fears have changed.

It's been a time of reflection.

It's been a time of serious prayer.

And it got me thinking about this little space of mine.  How I've missed it. Not many come here to read, and even fewer "follow", but it's been my sounding board.  I know I've said it before but I have missed writing. I've missed writing about the mundane. About the weird position that Dillan has fallen asleep in, or about the weekly task of documenting Gavin's picture. 

A couple nights ago, Nathan set up my computer.  I have my own little space in our bedroom. A space where I can light a candle and shut myself out for a few minutes. So here I am.

I'm not great at making goals, and I'm even worse at meeting them. But, for the next 4 weeks, I'm challenging myself to write something. Anything. Just be here. Unplug and share something with you. 

A day to myself

This weekend, Nathan is out of town for a show tonight in Johnson City. 

(Shameless Husband Plug) Hey - if you're in those parts go check them out at Capone's.

Anyway, it's 10:00 am and I've had one of those fruit smoothies with oats and spinach and all those things that are probably super nutritious for the little guy. Then I followed it up with a big mug full of decaf and a chocolate covered strawberry and two episodes of gossip girl - I can't help myself.

For the rest of the day I have the following on my agenda:
  - baby registry at babies r us, because I can
  - go to world market, because I can
  - drink more decaf, because I can
  - tj maxx in search of an awesome deal on a food processor (maybe) and other awesome deals in general, because I can
  - beasts of the southern wild, because the universe worked out to give me a netflix movie the day that I knew I'd be staying in for the evening hopefully eating a giant burrito! 

Husband, I miss you like crazy when you're away, but I do love using all the pillows in the bed.

And because I know he misses me and the puppy too...

A Photo A Day

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Tonight, as we were driving home, I said to Nathan, 'i really don't have any idea how to use my camera."  To which he replied, "then do something about it."  To which I got unreasonably offended, hello hormones, but the truth is, he's right. 

So my answer to this, is to get out ye ole DSLR and take one photo every day.

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My hope is that this helps me become a better photographer and a better blogger. I'm always admiring others photos, when there's really no reason that mine can't be just as good. 

So I have a challenge. I have a goal. And I plan to stay accountable here. Expect a weekly update of 7 pictures. The first of which are bound to be terrible.  

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I've thought about challenging myself to truly take only the photo, and not use any touch-up software at all. But that would kind of defeat the purpose. I mean a digital camera is meant to be used with digital software, right?  Right!

Hooray for a goal!

I choose Joy

Around the blog world, and the whole world, there's been a lot of resolve today. A day where we dream up the biggest and brightest ideas for how to change this year or how to improve this year. 

Friends, I need change, and I need improvement.

I spent my NYE in a dump, and most of this day in a dump. Our move to Nashville was, without a doubt, the best move for us, but it was a special night like this to make me miss everything I had in our old town. Namely, A group of friends who I knew were having a great time together, and I was here, with no one but a husband and a dog. 

Wait a second...

I am here with an amazing husband who loves me more everyday, reminds me that I am beautiful while my body is spiraling out of control, and constantly points me back to Christ.  I am here with a dog who has the best puppy eyes, loves to cuddle, and is a gal's best friend.

So why the heck am I down?

The answer is simple.  I am lonely. Despite meeting friends at work and church i haven't quite made it in there. Haven't quite connected yet.

The answer is easy.  I am scared. In 6 months (exactly) I will be a mom. I'll be a mom with debt. I'll be a mom with a small apartment. I'll be a mom who's never been a mom before. 

I'll be a mom with a husband to raise a child by her side. I'll be a mom with a roof over my head, air conditioning to keep the baby cool or warm, running water to keep baby clean.  I'll be a mom.

So this year, I choose to have Joy.

I choose to turn back to my blessings, to remind myself of all that I have when I deserve none of it. I choose to be thankful. 

I'm going to fail. I'm going to get low. I'm going to have days when all I want to do is think on everything I can't have. And I'm going to cry. But this year, I want to choose, in these moments, to be joyful for what I have.

Oh yeah, I have news...

Remember how I was getting nervous about taking my professional exam, the NCIDQ?

Then remember how I fantasized about completing the exam and rewarding myself with ice cream?

Then I told you all about that ice cream and finishing that exam...

Well, all that paid off, and I'm happy to announce that I am an NCIDQ certificate holder. 




Triple pass - All three sections. With a pretty comfortable buffer zone too.


To celebrate, I posted an embarrassing photo and called it my happy face. I'll celebrate with more jeni's when we get to nashville next week. Until then, i want to see your happy faces too. Post me a link in the comments and tell me what you're celebrating!

No TV

I think today is the day that we finally have no cable or internet in our apartment.

Gasp. Shock. Ahhh! The Horror! I'm scared.

You might be asking yourself, "self, why would anyone want to be without internet. I get cable, kind of, but internet?!?"

Well we have a few reasons.

1.) We are moving. We only have about 3 weeks in our apartment, and would rather save that money for the move than spend it on a bill - even if they can pro-rate.

2.) The next 3 weeks are going to be super busy. We have to pack. Nathan is leaving for Nashville early in the morning for a job interview. Then the next weekend he has 2 shows at the Blue Plum Festival. Then the next weekend we will be in Roanoke for my little sister's wedding.

3.) I love shows toooooo much. I watch TV. Oh, do I watch TV. And it's not healthy, I get on these "just one more episode" kicks that turns into 4 hours of "Scrubs." And I don't always pick good shows to watch, i.e. "Being Human" I just have to watching something. So I'm hoping that time without internet and cable will free me to pack, read, exercise, and visit with friends and family more before we move.

Do you have any experience with being internet free? Is it just the most freeing thing ever?

On the Other Side

Well I took Section 1 practice exam last night and passed, but barely. I had a 4 point buffer zone...which is not good at all. When it comes to the real exam I will happily take a pass with 0 buffer, but until that point I need to get as much knowledge/memorization in as possible. Granted I started the test at 9 p.m. last night and rushed through it in an hour so I could go to bed. And I've already taken practice exam Section 2, and passed with like a 25 question buffer. I'm going to take it again tonight just as review, and to see how I do with material I haven't thought about in 6 weeks. 

But all that is not the point of the post. 

I'm so close to the end. a mere week away. And all I can think of is the things I get to do when it's over. 

1. I plan on getting ice cream Friday and Saturday night in Nashville. And I plan to finally experience Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream. I'm going to sample ALL the flavors, but I'll probably end up with a scoop of each one of these: 

Black Coffee

Goat Cheese with Cognac Figs

Reisling Poached Pear Sorbet

Wildberry Lavender

Seriously, don't they look amazing? <mouth watering>

2. Go and See "The Hunger Games". I'm pretty bummed that I won't be part of the crowd going to see it at midnight tomorrow night, but I didn't buy premiere tickets because Nashville has an IMAX, and that would rule to see it on a giant screen. Then I found out there aren't any viewings next weekend, as it's only in IMAX for a week, then everything was sold out. but I will go see it, hopefully Saturday night, even if it is a puny theater. 

3. Anthropologie. That's right. I'm going shopping. I used to always feel a little disheartened at the seriously out of my price range clothing at Anthro, until I found an awesome deal in store. I'm hoping to find some again. 

4. Do all those other little things: take the dog on some walks/runs, spend time with friends, go out with husband, have a yard sale, pleasure reading, attend bible study again!, cook, grill, call family/friends, work on all those crafts I said I'd do for my sister's wedding, maybe make some art, relax, sit in the sun, do some online window shopping, watch seasons 3-6 of Doctor Who? and whatever else I want!

Yippee! 

Update: add knitting and learning to sew.