Our Sleeping Story

Gavin has never been a great sleeper.

If you've been reading here for a while, or if you've ever talked to me in person - you know this. I've been tired for almost a year. I've learned to live on few hour increments of sleep. But even that wasn't the worst part. I think that comes with the parenting territory, ya know? Babies don't sleep long and what not...

But that wasn't Gavin's only "problem". He was colicky. So for, yeesh, how long? Maybe 2-3 months he would scream for several hours every night. It's funny that I really can't remember how horrific it was actually - only that at one point I remember thinking, "this is horrific". 

After that, Gavin's sleep crutch was nursing. Tugging away until he'd pass out and then I'd make the highly skilled magical transfer to the crib. And this worked out really great, until he grew too big for a swaddler. 

We'd have a mostly rough nights with a few good ones so I partly felt like it would eventually work itself out. That somehow, Gavin would learn and become a "magic" baby that everyone on Facebook seems to have and I could get on with my life and stop running into walls and what-not. 

But that didn't happen, and after encouragement from friends and extensive online research, we decided to cry it out. This was probably around 6 months. And yes, it was the only way we could get him to sleep. He wouldn't rock, he wouldn't nurse anymore, he would cry in the swing, he'd cry regardless, so he may as well cry in his crib.

And it was hard. I shut down. Like a lot of anti-CIO postings I found online, it goes against that "maternal instinct" that is commanding you to go pick up that baby of yours. So I scrolled through pinterest for hours at a time, the "mood" timer on my BabyConnect app reminding me every 15 minutes to go and comfort him. At which he would get even angrier because mama would not pick him up like he wanted. And eventually he'd fall asleep - and he'd actually sleep. There were nights we got up to 10 straight hours. And then I became superwoman. But there were nights we got 5 too... 

Gavin went from crying for 45 minutes to only whining for 5 before sleep and now he doesn't make a peep when I lay him down at night.  He's currently teething 4 top teeth, so his sleep isn't great, but he's not usually screaming when he lays back down. 

There are nights when we back track. He has mental leaps, and he has sore gums, and he has new tummy feelings from trying new foods, but he knows his routine, and he knows that mama means business when she lays him down, so these episodes aren't near what they were when we started.

I'm not advocating that CIO is absolutely the solution for everyone. But was the best for Gavin. I think that's what being a parent is all about. We absolutely know what is best for our own individual children and ourselves. I tried cosleeping with Gavin but side-nursing made my back hurt something terrible and I didn't get any rest because Gavin wanted to snack every hour or so.  

So, here are my 5 tips for Crying It Out:

1.  Start a routine. For probably 5 months we've done the exact same thing every night at the same time. Gavin eats, takes a bath, gets a lotion massage before jammies, we pick up the toys taken out throughout the day, read a couple books, pray with Daddy, and nurse. Of course we've strayed from this a few times to go out etc., but overall this is our routine.

2. Find a happy place.  Y'all a six month old has a super developed set of vocal cords. Gavin's screams are somehow the loudest thing I've ever experienced.  My happy place was pinterest and tumblr sitting on our bed with the door closed. Our rooms are right across from each other so I had no issue hearing him. I could mindlessly scroll and be able to listen to Gavin. 

3. Know your baby.  Well duh, I know that you all know your babies, but listen for his cries. I know when Gavin is screaming because he's angry, and I know when something is wrong.  One night Gavin woke at about 5 am with a cry that sounded terrified - not at all like his upset I just woke up whine. Usually I kind of take my time going to him to give him an opportunity to quiet back to sleep but I didn't waste any time going to him that morning and sure enough, he had thrown up from a little stomach bug that we didn't know he had.

4. Stick to your guns.  My friend encouraged us to start CIO when Gavin was around 5 months. And we did - but it was hard. And often times Nathan or I would give in and go pick up the little guy. Had we really stuck to it he might have been better at putting himself to sleep sooner. And if it only took mom or dad 15 minutes to go pick the baby up - baby knows to cry for at least that long and longer next time...

5. You're doing a great job.  That's all. Parenting is hard and you're doing great.

The sweatshirt of my life

Y'all, this sweatshirt is the story of my life.

After 25 weeks of having a baby I had 9 blissful nights of full 9 hours of sleep. I was elated. I was energized. I was inebriated...slightly... Because I thought, heck I can have a beer again!

Then we hit 6 months, and another growth spurt. Sigh. Then we went on a little thanksgiving vacation. Schedule shot. Then Gavin started daycare. World flipped upside down. So I'm getting up twice a night again and feel dizzy for the better part of my day. And I feel my life will never be the same.

And the truth is, it won't. For the next 10+ years maybe I'll be woken by my son. There will be months when he's independent. Then he'll move to a bed from which he can get in and out of. Then he'll experience his first bad dream, and I'll be the one who will make him feel safe. But, he won't need me forever. I certainly won't be able to hold him for much longer and the day will come when I can't kiss him at home, much less in public. 

So I'm trying to take it in. Savor tonight's like this one when it's 10:30 and he hasn't slept in 4 hours. But he's making that sweet face and talking to me up a storm. Nights like this one where I could have sworn it was only a little after 9. Relish that even though he was sitting with dad, all he wanted was to look at and go to his mama.

You guys, today I am so tired. I probably will be tomorrow too, and many days to come.  But I'm so grateful that these tired days are filled with this squishy chunky giggling boy. 

Sweatshirt from hello apparel. 

Ain't I Lucky

Caught these two sleeping soundly on the couch one evening. Aren't I a lucky gal?

Dillan shreds again

Over the course of Dillan's life with us he has had 2 beds. One stays at the foot or our bed, the other stays in his crate. 

Over the course of Dillan's life with us, he has shredded one of his two beds. This means, every time he was crated, and we left, we'd return to a pile of green fluff stuffing all around the crate.

Finally, I gave into the fact that I needed to buy a new one. In a moment of weakness, I went to Petsmart. I figured that the holiday weekend sales and my PetPerks card would combine to the awesome power of a deal. So I spent $35 on a crate liner.

Thankfully as I was driving home I passed a TJ Maxx. And the heavens opened as I walked in and found a much more attractive and comfy bed for only $16. Woot. So I took the petsmart bed back, where I awkwardly got into the same line with the same sales lady...

Then I got the bed home. Where Dillan entered, and pretty much hasn't come out since. 

Nothing says good morning like a puppy in your face

Dogs, even more so than people, get settled into their routine. Dillan is absolutely no exception. Every morning I wake up to the sounds of a puppy stirring in the little space right beside our bed. He's stretching and yawning, and I'm lying perfectly still so that maybe he'll leave me alone for the next 10 minutes. Or at least until my alarm officially sounds off. No luck. He knows.
And with that suddenly a wet nose is in my eye sniffing. I don't know if he thinks somehow we morphed into other beings with different smells overnight but it never fails, he's sniffing with fury. I think he aims for the eyes because he knows that means I have to open them and stir to wipe the fresh puppy juice that is now in my face.
My eyes are now officially open, and I can no longer fake any sort of sleep. His tail is spinning in a circle and he's taking anticipatory steps backwards, so as to be closer to the door of course.
If I choose to roll over and close my eyes, he whines. Not begging whines of a normal dog, but "you are literally ruining my life" whines. If he's really upset, he will even bark. I think the total barks tallies about 5 now. Usually I'm not lucky enough to get to the "roll back over stage."
Now my feet are on the floor, and Dillan's front ones are lifting about 2 inches into the air.
I'm finding my glasses and sweater and he's rearing back, ready to race to the door.
I'm unlocking the dead bolt and he's jumping in the air.
The door is open.
He bolts outside.
And stands.
Sniffs some grass.
-business-
Sniffs the air.
Sniffs the grass.
Walks.
Tries to go back inside and I won't let him.
Sniffs the grass.
-business-
Then I'm pretty sure he smiles at me and races back inside.
Where I hear my alarm going off.

The basket

I had this idea in my head.

source via Dillan's pinboard

The sleek greyhound resting in a wicker basket straight out of some LL Bean catalog. So, when a friend's parents gave me their dog's old wicker basket. I couldn't resist.


I got the bed all prepared. I didn't have an oval pillow but I figured the rectangular one would do and might even give Dillan that extra bit of neck cushion I know he loves.

This is my result. My dreams are shattered.

My dog is afraid of his bed.

Living Room Campsite

Sunday night, after the long weekend at the Blue Plum Festival, Nathan and I wanted a little down time. We tried to get the Fresh Market for some Jeni's, but it closes very early on Sunday, and since we were already traveling that direction, we went to marble slab. I've been a standard coffee ice cream with heath bar mixed in, but that night I just wasn't feeling it. So, instead, i embraced my inner 8 year old and got cotton candy ice cream.

we then stopped at a Redbox and rented "The Rise of the Planet of the Apes" which has to be one of the longest movie titles ever. Anyway, I through a quilt on the floor, stacked some pillows up and got an old down comforter out of the closet. It's the coziest way to movie watch.

And Dillan agrees. He wasted no time taking our leg space on top of the squishy comforter, and then he wasted no time into taking a little nap. 

Naked Pico

Last night, I took Dillan's collar off so he could get those good pets and rubs on his neck. He loves it. But he looks so weird and naked.

And it emphasizes his tiny head.

Also, I dare you to caption this photo.

The Way the Dill Pico lies

Apparently his laziness is contagious...

And their paws are touching, they became friends.

Puppy Jail

Some people might be of the opinion that crating is terribly cruel. 

Let this be evidence of the contrary.

"Excuse me, I'm resting"

He's super sprawled out and resting on a pillow no less.  Not to mention the tasty peanut butter treat he gets beforehand.

The Way the Dill Pico Lies (ongoing series)

Dillan pretty much sleeps all day and all night. He's very excited to get up and go outside and eat, but then he is overcome with exhaustion and goes back to sleep. He comes upstairs with me when i get ready for work, but lays on his fluffy pillow the whole time. When I leave in the morning he follows me downstairs just to switch to his downstairs pillow (spoiled?). He's crated when Nathan leaves, so he sleeps in there. Then when i get home we go for a little stroll outside and eat dinner, and then he sleeps. There's about an hour gap in there when he'll play or be really needy for some ear scratches. But mostly, he sleeps.

This one was taken during his 8-9 p.m. nap.

Also, I had to nip the who rhyming thing in the title for English's sake. Could. Not. Handle. Bad. Grammar. 


p.s. I know writing that will make you work extra hard to find all my grammatical errors. Leave a comment if you can find any!
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