Thursday, July 18, 2013

Dear Gavin,

Baby boy, you are 8 weeks old today.  It takes me by complete surprise when I look down at you and see how much you've grown in just 2 short months. Sometimes I find myself looking through all our photos of you and lingering on your newborn ones the most. I guess I've earned my "real mom" status because you are growing up too fast!

But I am simultaneously so excited to keep discovering the man you'll become. Some people can name personalities in their baby as soon as they're here, but I think you're keeping it hidden. You can play on your own, and must be very patient as your rookie parents try to figure this out.

So thanks for being patient little Gavin. You are so loved.

Friday, July 12, 2013

I met Maddie

Because I spend quite a bit of time refining my tumblr page with reblogs from people who have far better taste than I do, I've known about "Maddie on Things" for a while now.

If you don't know of Maddie, she is a charming coonhound, who was adopted by Theron, and now earns her greenies by being extremely well balanced and having way more self control than Dillan ever could.

I follow Theron (@thiswildidea) on instagram and was really excited when I saw an announcement there that he and Maddie would be at Parnassus Books, I really had to go see her for myself.

When I arrived, the place was packed out, but I snuck into line where I purchased their perfect coffee table book with some birthday money, and waited in a looong line to meet Theron and Maddie.

Maddie scampered back and forth throughout the shop, not really wanting anything to do with most people, or would take a break in a leather chair. I did get a sweeping backstroke in as she trotted by at one point!

When I finally got to the signing table, I had no idea what to say... My inner dialog said something like this,

"Um Hi, would you sign your book...?"

Thankfully, Theron saved me from such inevitable awkwardness by asking my name and where I'm at in life. - what a great line!

Luckily, little Gavi gave me a perfect answer, "Well I just became a mom".

I then sheepishly brought up Dillan (like every other dog owner in the store) and dug out the ole' phone to show a picture of my beloved dog (yes, we still love you dillan!) Then we awkward posed!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Holy Cow, 7 weeks!

I can't believe little man is 7 weeks old today!

I've tried to keep up with taking a photo of him every week to keep track of his growth - but I think I've missed a few times.

Anywho - here's what I've got so far!

Ahh! so little!! Technicially this is when we left the hospital so he was really about 3 days old, but this is at his teeny tiniest!

Wearing shorts! 3 weeks old! Still in tiny newborn onesies, but that belly was starting to fill out :)

4 weeks old! Gettin super active exercise time.

5 weeks! We graduated to 0-3 month onesies and went outside to celebreate. Just a great face! He loved laying outside that day.

And 7 weeks old today buddy! We got those terrible 2 month vaccinations, and buddy boy has been feeling it ever since. In - con - sol - a - ble. But he looked great and was following those growth charts to a "T".

If you want to follow along weekly, follow my instagram @mpmerrick and hashtag project #weeklygavin

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Your Heart will Rejoice

When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.

John 16: 21-22

I cannot say how much these verses meant to me as I sat in church around 6 months pregnant, still terrified of becoming a mother. Joy. You might remember, I challenged myself at the first of 2013 to choose joy for so many reasons. 

These words comforted me throughout the rest of my pregnancy, and I was reciting them to myself throughout the delivery process (which was a process indeed).

I am a high - risk pregnancy.  From the beginning, I knew that I would have to be induced early so that the doctors could time my labor with my going off blood thinners. So at 12 am on May 21st, Nathan and I went into the hospital 10 days before my due date (June 1st) to go into labor. My doctor had been concerned about my (TMI warning) unfavorable cervix, so I started out on cytotec and went to sleep around 1:30 am.  A few hours later the nurses woke me up because I'd gone into labor naturally, much to my relief.

Again, a few hours labor, with very little progression, I was put on pitocin, and eventually had my water broken. Not long after, the contractions intensified, and at the insistence of my high risk doctor, I had an epidural. 

The day progressed, but I did not. We went through lots of rolling back and forth onto different sides as my epidural kept going away on my left side. My contraction sensor went bad and was telling the nurse I was having contractions of about 12 intensity when they were really around 80.  Baby started to give us scares with d-cells and variables in his heart rate. Looking back at texts I was sending friends with messages such as,

"still no baby"

"Only 2 cm"

I should have known that things weren't going too well.  By 6 pm, I was only 4ish cm, but stubbornly insistent on going natural.  

At 2am (after 24ish hours of labor) I hadn't gotten any further and we chose to have a c-section. I was exhausted, baby was exhausted, and all in all my body just wasn't ready to give birth.

Nathan texted our parents and my mom later told me that at about 2:45 she felt an overwhelming peace - instead of the fear that something will happen to your child - a fear that as a new mom I am familiar with.

Gavin James was born at 2:52 am. After such an ordeal, something that Jesus understands as "sorrow" and "anguish" was immediately replaced with joy. A joy and a love that only another mother can understand. A joy that cannot be taken from me.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Right now.

Right now I'm sitting on my couch with a dozing baby on my chest.

Right now I'm staring at a blue tv screen because our Apple TV shut down and I don't want to move to reach the remote.

Right now I'm typing this on my iPad and I'm anxious to see what the heck this post will look like when I hit publish.

Right now I'm realizing that my husband and I have an apple problem...

Right now I'm exhausted.

Right now I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

Right now I'm debating rather to wake this boy up for our nightly bath time ritual, but he's been so sleepy lately.

Right now I'm realizing that one day he won't fit so perfectly into my chest and from what everyone says that day will be here before I know it.

But right now I'm not thinking anymore about that.

Right now I'm smelling what I like to call his old man head because his hair is long all around the sides but he's sort of bald on top.

Right now his arm is twitching against my side and his legs are tucked up like a little frog. 

Right now I'm thinking about the cherry lambic in the fridge and wondering when I'm going to get to taste it, and if it tastes like Jeni's.

Right now I'm going to close my eyes, baths can always come later.  


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...