Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The sweatshirt of my life


Y'all, this sweatshirt is the story of my life.

After 25 weeks of having a baby I had 9 blissful nights of full 9 hours of sleep. I was elated. I was energized. I was inebriated...slightly... Because I thought, heck I can have a beer again!

Then we hit 6 months, and another growth spurt. Sigh. Then we went on a little thanksgiving vacation. Schedule shot. Then Gavin started daycare. World flipped upside down. So I'm getting up twice a night again and feel dizzy for the better part of my day. And I feel my life will never be the same.

And the truth is, it won't. For the next 10+ years maybe I'll be woken by my son. There will be months when he's independent. Then he'll move to a bed from which he can get in and out of. Then he'll experience his first bad dream, and I'll be the one who will make him feel safe. But, he won't need me forever. I certainly won't be able to hold him for much longer and the day will come when I can't kiss him at home, much less in public. 

So I'm trying to take it in. Savor tonight's like this one when it's 10:30 and he hasn't slept in 4 hours. But he's making that sweet face and talking to me up a storm. Nights like this one where I could have sworn it was only a little after 9. Relish that even though he was sitting with dad, all he wanted was to look at and go to his mama.

You guys, today I am so tired. I probably will be tomorrow too, and many days to come.  But I'm so grateful that these tired days are filled with this squishy chunky giggling boy. 


Sweatshirt from hello apparel. 

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