Milestone #3

From what I've read, babies develop along a series of "milestones". A list of baby's first and thus a list of things for parents to worry about.

According to "baby connect" the first of these is being born. Check. Gold star.

The second is smiles. Gavin smiled in his sleep very early on, but his first legitimate small was recorded around 8 weeks. Since then he hasn't held any back and they are usually accompanied by a long conversation full of oooos aohhhhs and agooos.

The third milestone I added myself. Laughter. C'mon parents, these smiles are great, and these conversations are so sweet to my soul. Literally full of all the good things in life leaving me in a big puddle on the floor kind of thing.  But laughter. Laughter is when we really start talking. When I know that not only am I interesting, but gosh I'm funny! 

It's hard to commit to when baby makes these milestones. Part of me thinks, is it a fluke? Maybe I should wait a while just to be sure. But I'm not gonna let it get reduced to my own control and insecurity. 

Gavin laughed. Somehow, for some reason he thought that dad and I were funny during bath time. We were just talking to him. Telling him about how great baths are, because he usually disagrees, and suddenly this joyous sound erupted out of him. 

"Was that a laugh little man?" We both exclaimed! Yes, I think it was.

So here's to you milestone #3. We love you and can't wait to hear more.

Dear Gavin,

Baby boy, you are 8 weeks old today.  It takes me by complete surprise when I look down at you and see how much you've grown in just 2 short months. Sometimes I find myself looking through all our photos of you and lingering on your newborn ones the most. I guess I've earned my "real mom" status because you are growing up too fast!

But I am simultaneously so excited to keep discovering the man you'll become. Some people can name personalities in their baby as soon as they're here, but I think you're keeping it hidden. You can play on your own, and must be very patient as your rookie parents try to figure this out.

So thanks for being patient little Gavin. You are so loved.

I met Maddie

Because I spend quite a bit of time refining my tumblr page with reblogs from people who have far better taste than I do, I've known about "Maddie on Things" for a while now.

If you don't know of Maddie, she is a charming coonhound, who was adopted by Theron, and now earns her greenies by being extremely well balanced and having way more self control than Dillan ever could.

I follow Theron (@thiswildidea) on instagram and was really excited when I saw an announcement there that he and Maddie would be at Parnassus Books, I really had to go see her for myself.

When I arrived, the place was packed out, but I snuck into line where I purchased their perfect coffee table book with some birthday money, and waited in a looong line to meet Theron and Maddie.

Maddie scampered back and forth throughout the shop, not really wanting anything to do with most people, or would take a break in a leather chair. I did get a sweeping backstroke in as she trotted by at one point!

When I finally got to the signing table, I had no idea what to say... My inner dialog said something like this,

"Um Hi, would you sign your book...?"

Thankfully, Theron saved me from such inevitable awkwardness by asking my name and where I'm at in life. - what a great line!

Luckily, little Gavi gave me a perfect answer, "Well I just became a mom".

I then sheepishly brought up Dillan (like every other dog owner in the store) and dug out the ole' phone to show a picture of my beloved dog (yes, we still love you dillan!) Then we awkward posed!

Holy Cow, 7 weeks!

I can't believe little man is 7 weeks old today!

I've tried to keep up with taking a photo of him every week to keep track of his growth - but I think I've missed a few times.

Anywho - here's what I've got so far!

Ahh! so little!! Technicially this is when we left the hospital so he was really about 3 days old, but this is at his teeny tiniest!

Wearing shorts! 3 weeks old! Still in tiny newborn onesies, but that belly was starting to fill out :)

4 weeks old! Gettin super active exercise time.

5 weeks! We graduated to 0-3 month onesies and went outside to celebreate. Just a great face! He loved laying outside that day.

And 7 weeks old today buddy! We got those terrible 2 month vaccinations, and buddy boy has been feeling it ever since. In - con - sol - a - ble. But he looked great and was following those growth charts to a "T".

If you want to follow along weekly, follow my instagram @mpmerrick and hashtag project #weeklygavin

Your Heart will Rejoice

When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.

So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.

John 16: 21-22

I cannot say how much these verses meant to me as I sat in church around 6 months pregnant, still terrified of becoming a mother. Joy. You might remember, I challenged myself at the first of 2013 to choose joy for so many reasons. 

These words comforted me throughout the rest of my pregnancy, and I was reciting them to myself throughout the delivery process (which was a process indeed).

I am a high - risk pregnancy.  From the beginning, I knew that I would have to be induced early so that the doctors could time my labor with my going off blood thinners. So at 12 am on May 21st, Nathan and I went into the hospital 10 days before my due date (June 1st) to go into labor. My doctor had been concerned about my (TMI warning) unfavorable cervix, so I started out on cytotec and went to sleep around 1:30 am.  A few hours later the nurses woke me up because I'd gone into labor naturally, much to my relief.

Again, a few hours labor, with very little progression, I was put on pitocin, and eventually had my water broken. Not long after, the contractions intensified, and at the insistence of my high risk doctor, I had an epidural. 

The day progressed, but I did not. We went through lots of rolling back and forth onto different sides as my epidural kept going away on my left side. My contraction sensor went bad and was telling the nurse I was having contractions of about 12 intensity when they were really around 80.  Baby started to give us scares with d-cells and variables in his heart rate. Looking back at texts I was sending friends with messages such as,

"still no baby"

"Only 2 cm"

I should have known that things weren't going too well.  By 6 pm, I was only 4ish cm, but stubbornly insistent on going natural.  

At 2am (after 24ish hours of labor) I hadn't gotten any further and we chose to have a c-section. I was exhausted, baby was exhausted, and all in all my body just wasn't ready to give birth.

Nathan texted our parents and my mom later told me that at about 2:45 she felt an overwhelming peace - instead of the fear that something will happen to your child - a fear that as a new mom I am familiar with.

Gavin James was born at 2:52 am. After such an ordeal, something that Jesus understands as "sorrow" and "anguish" was immediately replaced with joy. A joy and a love that only another mother can understand. A joy that cannot be taken from me.

Right now.

Right now I'm sitting on my couch with a dozing baby on my chest.

Right now I'm staring at a blue tv screen because our Apple TV shut down and I don't want to move to reach the remote.

Right now I'm typing this on my iPad and I'm anxious to see what the heck this post will look like when I hit publish.

Right now I'm realizing that my husband and I have an apple problem...

Right now I'm exhausted.

Right now I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

Right now I'm debating rather to wake this boy up for our nightly bath time ritual, but he's been so sleepy lately.

Right now I'm realizing that one day he won't fit so perfectly into my chest and from what everyone says that day will be here before I know it.

But right now I'm not thinking anymore about that.

Right now I'm smelling what I like to call his old man head because his hair is long all around the sides but he's sort of bald on top.

Right now his arm is twitching against my side and his legs are tucked up like a little frog. 

Right now I'm thinking about the cherry lambic in the fridge and wondering when I'm going to get to taste it, and if it tastes like Jeni's.

Right now I'm going to close my eyes, baths can always come later.  

I'm still here

Hey! Time flies by doesn't it. Especially when most of your day is taken by naps, nursing, bouncing, and more naps.

But I am still here.  I am still thinking about this blog daily and one day, hopefully very soon, I'll kick back into gear and post daily and maybe even give this space a little facelift!

Oh yeah, the point of all this is to get you to go over to Bloglovin and follow along over there. Why? Because Google Reader shuts down on Monday! This has been a long time coming, but I kind of just realized that it's happening in a few days, and I'd love for you all to keep reading :)

If you want, there are many other ways to follow along in our daily life (at least until I start posting about it).

Find us on Instagram @mpmerrick

Find me on twitter @MichelleMerrick

Find some lovely reblogs on Tumblr @ A Green Season

And follow my riveting Pinterest Boards including one about ice cream and one about puppies.

In the mean time, I am going to go make some coffee and maybe make these cookies because I have been overcome by a serious sweet tooth.

What are your weekend plans?

Absence and some Photos

Oh bloggity blog, how I have missed you. The saying goes that absence makes the heart go fonder and in the case of writing here it is 100% true.  I think about starting up writing, and posts, and photos, and things to share daily, and then I don't do it.  

Don't get me wrong, I love soaking up my new son and figuring out how to manage chores and get back to my real job.  so I can't say that I regret how I've used my time away from posting regularly.  But today is the day!  The one where I decide to take action instead of finding yet another new tv series to watch on Netflix.

So, before divulging into motherhood and how it's changed my life forever, I want to share our "maternity" family photos, taken by the wonderful Emily Sill.

My initial thought for taking adorable photos was to share a bowl of Jeni's, but the line was epic long so we skipped over to the park where we found amazing light and scenery. I love all of the photos taken, but now can't stop gushing on the cuteness of what was growing inside me when these were taken.