Thursday, July 24, 2014

On Pride

Gavin officially turned 14 months two days ago. And he's still not walking. Sure he can climb up the stairs himself. He'll push along his walker and cruise down the sofa. He will even humor me by walking holding my hands for a few steps. Then he lifts his feet and whines until he's placed back onto his bottom. 

And I am so frustrated by this.

We've talked about comparison.

And how I'm going to seek joy instead.

But when all the 10 month olds around you are up and walking. It's hard. I go to a place of comparison. Of doubt. Of fear. "Is my baby okay?" "Is he normal?" And while deep down I know he is, I let Satan put me into this dark place. And even place blame onto my son! "Why is he doing this to meeeee???"

And I wonder why he's so dramatic...

But really, what is there to be afraid of. 

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Wait...Be thankful. Right. 

He will walk, and one day soon. And while I might secretly roll my eyes at all the parents who try to tell me I'll wish he was still just crawling, I can find joy in the moment.  That he loves crawling a few steps and twisting around with a giggle to see if we're chasing him yet. That he makes yummy "mmm" sounds when he's eating something he really loves (read: hot dog). That he climbs up onto me and gives the largest wettest kiss (read: blows raspberry) on my face or neck.  These are the moments.

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